Retreat Team
Christ the King Retreat Center, Citrus Heights, CA

“Preaching for me is simply speaking the convictions of my heart. And it is really easy to speak of something I truly love. Occasionally, when I have been assigned a topic to preach on, and I didn’t have any deep conviction about it, it’s been an absolutely terrible experience. But when I believe in something, and am speaking from internal conviction, Wow, that is powerful! There is a dynamic which happens, at least for me.  There is an energy, a synergy, which reaches beyond words. It truly is sacred. Some have gone so far as to call it sacramental. ”

Sharing Our Stories

You joined a preaching order which proclaims Christ and Him crucified. Do you ever speak on this?

Oh yes! Oh yes. And it hurts. You know, the cross is not a pretty thing. And I don’t really like to preach on it, simply because it really is painful. For the most part, I don’t think people want to be in touch with pain. I know I don’t. I think it is a whole lot easier to find ways to escape from it, to hide or run from it, or to medicate it. But for me to preach on it means I have to touch my own experiences of suffering, to find God in my suffering and then in the middle of the darkness, discover God’s presence and grace. And that is Hard! We all want and pray that we can draw close to God. Yet the ramifications of that can be frightening! I think it is truly nice to draw close to God when it involves nice warm wonderful mushy feelings. But paradoxically, what happens when God’s invitation to draw close is the embrace of suffering?

So the Cross teaches that my relationship with Jesus can’t be merely on my terms. And it certainly can’t always be comfortable. This message is very counter-cultural.

Our culture plays into this. Everyday we are bombed with messages informing us how to deal with suffering and pain. And we are told that if we busy our lives enough, then we won’t need to ask the deeper questions of the role of suffering in our lives, or the lives of our loved ones. See, many times, these are not healthy. And the times of rich and deep spiritual breakthroughs are when I sit with someone in the midst of their suffering and I simply listen to them. Just to be a support person oftentimes gives them permission to feel their pain, and not be afraid. That is when I’ve seen incredible breakthroughs in a person’s ability to cope, or the discovery of hope, which helps them move on in their life. Those are incredibly enlightening and grace-filled moments. Because it is the discovery of this Sacred and Holy One beckoning us to draw close. And it simply is the Cross. It is the Power of God working in people’s lives. And that is so classically paradoxical!

What has been the biggest gift you have received as a Passionist?

I guess, metaphorically, it would be the privilege of walking in some pretty big shoes. This again is the continuity of our history. But we have a tremendous reputation for preaching, counseling, spiritual direction and reconciliation. Additionally, we are known for our emphasis on solitude, prayer and contemplation. Others know of us for our hospitality. To be part of such a rich and varied tradition is a huge gift. And sometimes I wonder, “Who am I to walk in these shoes?” There certainly have been some great men who have gone before us.

Yet biblically, and ministerially, it is the experience of Moses of taking off his shoes and knowing holy ground. The trust people have because I carry the name “Passionist” is overwhelming at times. And the needs which people have, and my inability to feed the 5000 but perhaps I have a couple of fish and a loaf of bread…. And then there is the community who I have seen in so many varied and different ways supported and encouraged—especially when I really need it or I am down. I mean…there is tremendous sacredness. And that is ALL Gift!